Speaking of adulthood...

About 6 seconds after I published the last post, I remembered an article I read last night called "What Is It About 20-Somethings?" And of course I laughed, because it turns out that apparently I fit into that 20-something "I'm-terrified-of-growing-up" category. There have been a number of articles, even books, written on the topic in recent months and years and everyone (Psychologists, sociologists, politicians, church leaders and especially our parents) asks the same questions: What's going on with the 20-somethings? Why are my friends and I leaving our budding careers to go "back to school" or to travel the world for a few months? Why are we still single? Are we just spoiled, self-indulgent adults who are shying away from real responsibility? Why do we need so much time to "find ourselves"?

From the above-mentioned article: "The traditional cycle seems to have gone off course, as young people remain un­tethered to romantic partners or to permanent homes, going back to school for lack of better options, traveling, avoiding commitments, competing ferociously for unpaid internships or temporary (and often grueling) Teach for America jobs, forestalling the beginning of adult life. "

I really wish I knew the answers to all those questions. Mostly because I'd probably win some sort of Nobel Prize if I could sort out all our issues (and I hear that comes with quite a chunk of change), but also because maybe then I'd have more insight into myself. This is a rather expansive topic and I don't want to write a book on the subject (why do you think I picked a Masters program that doesn't require a thesis?), but I want to look at the 5 milestones our author isolated that represent our transition into adulthood.

1. Finishing school. High School. Check. Bachelors? Check. Masters? Give me a couple years. The reasoning behind this one makes sense. We've been in school since we were 4 or 5, so it's logical that once we're done, we've reached adulthood. But what about those of us who finished school, worked for a few years and then went back to school? Is that a sign that we couldn't handle the responsibilities of being an adult? Maybe. A lot of our parents have stuck with their first post-college jobs for 20, even 30 years. So why can't my generation stick with it? Why the rush to "go back to school"?

For me, I decided that when I woke up every morning dreading going into work and secretly wishing for mono just so I could stay home sick for a month, it was time to do something else. I don't think that our parents just magically all loved their jobs. But we've convinced ourselves that our jobs should be entertaining, lucrative and emotionally rewarding and since a lot of us aren't married (see #4), we have the luxury of going back to school or switching careers in search of something that's a better fit. By the time my dad was 25, he had 1.5 children and quitting a job to go back to school would have been a much bigger hardship than it is for me.

And, lest you think I'm trying to rationalize all our behavior, partly I think we go back to school because we're simply indecisive. There are so many opportunities out there that we don't want to commit to just one. Sure, I like my current job, but what if there's something better? What if being a teacher is more rewarding than engineering? Shouldn't I give it a shot?

2. Moving out. Done. Except for a summer after my freshmen year of college and 6 weeks after I graduated, I pretty much moved out of my parents house the August after high school. I don't ever plan on moving back, although I am grateful that the option is still there if I ever needed it (I'm assuming at least. Mom? Correct me if I'm wrong?). I'm not sure if having the "i could always move back home" back-up plan disqualifies me from adulthood.

3. Financial independence. Again, a pretty obvious indicator of adulthood. I have friends that hit this one as soon as they graduated from high school and a few more friends who I suspect will never make it there. If you read my last post (yes, I'm spending far too much of my last day of freedom blogging), you noticed that a lot of the surprising/depressing realizations about adulthood were financial.

4. Marriage. I wish I knew. Like most of the intelligent, beautiful women that I associate with, I do want to be married someday. To be honest, it strikes me as quite remarkable that compatible people ever find each other at the right time, etc. etc., but I have faith and hope that things will work out, that the Lord knows me better than I know myself and that he will guide this one.

I do want to answer probably the most frustrating question I've gotten: "So, are all the women in DC like you, moved out east to pursue a career instead of getting married and settling down?"

The cynic in me replies, "Yep, that's it. And we especially like it when people accuse us of wanting to be eternally single." But I realize that's probably not the best answer. We 20-something women out here did NOT come here to avoid marriage. Believe me, there are thousands of cities all over this country with negligible social scenes if that was our goal. Most of us came here because we are single and because we saw that single-ness as an opportunity to improve ourselves and make a difference in the world. It's not that we're choosing careers over marriage and families. But I think we would all agree that a happy, productive individual is much more pleasant that someone who whines about being single all the time.

I will agree, however, that marital status is an enormous dividing line, especially in the church. We are designated as "young single adults" and then "single adults". More thoughts on that later. But yes, despite careers and education levels, etc., it seems that my friends who are married have been accepted into the church's "adult" club much more readily than we singles have.

5. Children. No way. Not happening until after #4.


I reiterate: I have no real solid answers. I do recognize how easy it is to get self-absorbed in this current situation and I know in my own experience that I'm considerably happier when I'm actively and "anxiously engaged in a good cause" than when I'm trying to figure out my life. I also, however, entirely agree with the author that we all feel the "30 Deadline" creeping up on us faster than we'd like. I'm searching for a way to feel content with my current situation in life but to continue progressing and reaching my goals. And although it still scares me a little, adulthood has its perks, right? I'd love your thoughts.

When did I become an adult?

It really hit home this weekend.

A friend and I wanted to take a quick trip to NYC to see a show, but we didn't want to pay for a hotel, so we caught a 3:30 am bus out of DC. It dropped us off at Penn Station with just enough time to grab a quick breakfast before hitting the theater to pick up our tickets. (Being a student is the best - second row seats for $27!!) We spent a couple hours just wandering around Central Park before our matinee, which is when the sleep deprivation started to kick in. In my anxiety to not miss our ridiculously early bus, I hadn't slept the night before, and I definitely didn't sleep on the bus. Luckily the show was fabulous enough that I stayed awake, but I was more than ready to crash when we boarded the bus back to DC at 7:30 pm. A couple big discoveries: First, a trip like this would have been no big deal in college. I didn't sleep much for those 4 years. Now, it was a little painful. Second, I love that I have friends that will still do crazy things like that with me, even if we pay dearly for it afterward.

Worth it? Absolutely. Bernadette "the BP that isn't destroying the planet" Peters and Elaine Stritch were brilliant in Sondheim's "A Little Night Music".

Other recent "Whoa. I'm really a adult" moments:

• Dealing with identity theft
• Actually owing taxes for the first time
• Getting called "Ms Chamberlain" every day for 3 years
  
• Choosing to stay home on a Friday night because I was too tired from the week.
  
• Replacing all the tires on my car
• Road tripping to visit college friends with 2+ kids
• Someone asked me last night how long I'd been playing the piano. And I realized the answer was TWENTY years. Holy cow.
• I am a "former" teacher
• Cody's wedding & Michael's graduation
• Paying for my own insurance
  

Maybe going back to school will make me feel more like a kid? Here's hoping...

Reasons I love my life this week.

10. Gianduiotti made their way back into my life. If you're not lucky enough to have ever tried these little nuggets of joy, think Nutella. But in bar form. Thank you Luigi and Janine for passing them on. If you ever get a chance to eat one of these, don't think, just do it.


9. My new room is finally going to be all put together. I moved 3 weeks ago to a little basement apartment about half a mile from my old place. With Emily's help, I got my desk moved over to the new place and I finally get to unpack the final box!! Pictures to come when it's actually finished.

8. Watching (or re-watching) some really beautiful movies & documentaries with my roommate. On the list this week: God Grew Tired of Us, Il Postino, The Red Balloon. I would highly recommend God Grew Tired Of Us, about the lost boys of Sudan. It's heart-wrenching and life-changing.

7. I'm getting really excited to start school in the fall. I'm starting some prep work for one of my classes this week and trying to remember how to study. Any suggestions for reading "The Federalist" ??

6. I survived the dentist.

5. Paid unemployment is one of the best things on earth. I get to spend my days reading, shopping, working out, cooking, watching movies, etc. I honestly don't know how I ever had time to work with all the other things that are going on!

4. D.C. has really awesome things to do in the summer. Case in point, the US Air Force Band Summer Concert Series. Every Wednesday and Friday night during the summer, the USAF Band (or different variations of it: the Singing Sargeants, Airmen of Note, etc.) plays a free concert at the Air Force Memorial here in Arlington. The band is incredibly talented and the view of the city is breathtaking.

3. Marvin Hamlisch directing the NSO with Idina Menzel singing the acoustic/Glee version of "Poker Face". This is maybe one of the more ridiculous musical scenarios that I could even imagine. But it was indescribably fabulous. Thanks to the girl who managed to tape at least most of the song. Youtube clip here .

2. I have amazing friends. People that inspire me to be better in so many different ways. Intellectually, emotionally, spiritually, physically. Love you all.

1. In just 3 days (plus a few hours) I'll be heading home to Eagle to spend two weeks with my wonderful family! Camping trip, plenty of yardwork and a WEDDING. Wow.

Purchase of the week

I did it. Finally. I bought a piano. Anyone who knows me knows that I love to play the piano, and do so every chance I get, even if it means that I end up accompanying choirs/relief society/institute/whatever. But since I graduated from high school, I've never had one in any apartment/house that I've lived in. At BYU, there was always one nearby (usually in a practice room or a rec room at whatever complex I lived in), but it was always tricky to find time to use it when other people weren't also using the room. Since I've been in DC, I've relied on the church and the hospitality of friends when I want or need to play.


One of my favorite parts of spending time at home is my family's Sunday tradition of hanging out around the piano and singing. I'm not entirely sure when or how it started, but on Sunday afternoons someone inevitably starts playing something singable, and within a few minutes the whole family is there, singing along in pretty decent harmony. Les Miserables is a long-time favorite, but plenty of other music has been added along the way. Michael pretends he doesn't enjoy our sing-a-longs, but I know better. The rest of us have all sung in various choirs, but my brothers took /are taking voice lessons as well, and both sound really good.

I decided that it's probably a good thing that I get home from work an hour or so before my roommates, because I'll probably carry on the tradition all by myself. :)

Auld Lang Syne

(does anyone actually know what that means?)

Happy New Year! I don't know about any of you, but 2008 wasn't a stellar year around here. It wasn't horrible, don't get me wrong; it just didn't stand out as anything special. A failing economy, a long and dragged out presidential race and nothing in my personal life worth mentioning. There have been some good things as well. I've been able to travel home several times and spend time with the fam, both immediate and extended. And both my little sister and little brother left on missions, which has definitely changed the family dynamic, but has been really neat as well. I've made some great friends out here in DC and reconnected with old ones back home. I have a job that I enjoy (most days) and that's fairly stable. Even so, I was pretty excited to see the year coming to a close. (Although it strikes me as funny that we all have this perception that 2009 is going to be completely different than 2008. Mere hours really won't make a huge difference. Interesting to see time as a purely human construct.)

I've never been good at New Year's Resolutions. I usually scribble a couple things down on the 1st or 2nd of January, promptly lose the paper and forget what I'd written down by February 1. But even with my track record, it always seems appropriate to get a fresh start and set some new goals. (And no, this isn't all of them. There are some that just don't need to be published!)

1. Leave the United States. It's been too long, and I need an adventure. Any suggestions?
2. Cook more and eat out less
3. Visit friends in Utah. I haven't been to Provo since I graduated!
4. Develop some new talents or improve at some old ones **drawing, cooking, playing the violin/piano**
5. Be better at staying in touch with family and friends
6. Practice my Italian **and maybe even find a way to use it - see #1**
7. Exercise at least 4 times a week
8. Become more organized **maybe cliche, I know, but necessary!**
9. Be more grateful for the things I have.

Christmas Break highlights!

I love Boise. And as much as I love living on the East Coast, my roots are here. (My mom is really pushing for me to marry someone from Boise so I end up here. :) ) So it's nice to come home for Christmas break / a couple weeks in the summer / whenever else I decide to make the trek. Here are some of the highlights so far:

• Talking to Cody and Paul on Christmas Day!
• Watching my dad and Michael eating the canned silk worm larvae (bundigie) that my missionary brother Paul sent us from Korea.
  
• Playing Rock Band with the Hadfields / hanging out with Damon. (I've missed you!)
  
• Waking Michael up from his Sunday nap. Tonight my mom had gone in his room a couple times to try, but to no avail. Her solution: smear peanut butter on his face and put the dog on his bed to lick it off. Success!
• Reading through some old high school yearbooks and realizing that I can no longer remember about 50% of the people that signed my yearbooks. (Not to mention the other 2000 kids I went to school with!)
• Shopping with Mom. Two very indecisive people = long shopping trips.
  
• Skiing at Bogus Basin. The mountains and skiing are two things that I miss living in DC. Something I do not miss: malfunctioning ski equipment. I need to remember to buy insulated snow pants, gloves without holes in them and boots that actually fit. And maybe I shouldn't use the goggles I got when I was twelve...
• The traditional Chamberlain Sunday afternoon sing-a-long. We all gather around the piano and sing for an hour or two. Les Mis has always been the favorite, but we're working other musicals in to the rotation.
• Mostly just spending time with the people that know and love me best: primarily my family, Amanda, Damon...

A Day of Thanks

Tomorrow is Thanksgiving, definitely one of my favorite holidays (that and Christmas...). Nothing beats eating enough mashed potatoes, turkey and cranberry sauce and pecan pie to feed a small army. The best part, of course, is spending time with family and friends that I love. I haven't been able to be with my immediate family for several of the past few Thanksgivings, including this one, and I'll miss them immensely tomorrow. They are the people I am most grateful for - for putting up with me through those angst-y teenage years, for supporting me in all the decisions I've made, and really just for loving me. I have the best family I could ask for.

I've definitely had some memorable Thanksgivings. Growing up, the extended family usually went out to my grandparents' cabin. We'd fill the weekend with sledding, cross-country skiing and snow ice cream, on the snowy years. And while it wasn't quite as picturesque, snow-less years made cutting down our Christmas tree much easier (Although let's be honest, picking it out is the hard part. Indecisive +perfectionist = bad for picking out a tree). Great memories. Last year, the Pennsylvania Chamberlains invited me to dinner at their house. I got to meet Eden & Mike's twins for the first time, and hang out with Maleah right after her mission. Plus we checked out Ellis Island/Statue of Liberty and Washington's crossing point on the Delaware. Another great Thanksgiving memory. One of the most unusual though, was when I did study abroad in Torino. Not only was I not with my family, but I was in a country completely unrelated to Thanksgiving/pilgrims/etc. Below is part of an email that I wrote about the occasion:

________________

"For Thanksgiving dinner today, Dr. Noble requested that the kitchen make us a real Thanksgiving dinner, with turkey and mashed potatoes, but the head cook told us that they wouldn't be able to find a turkey so they were going to give us turkey breast instead. I thought it sounded fine - a little different than normal, but not bad. It doesn't seem like Thanksgiving here anyway, since it's just the 50 of us who are even aware that the holiday exists. But when we got down to dinner tonight, we walked into the dining area and the table looked just like it normally does, with all the antipasti and salad lined up down the middle, and when they started bringing out the first course, it was risotto instead of potatoes. The risotto had chunks of pumpkin in it, granted, but it still wasn't potatoes. We had all resigned ourselves to a much different Thanksgiving dinner, which was actually good, because then we started thinking more about Thanksgiving and less about the dinner. At our table we talked about what we were thankful for and sang some Thanksgiving hymns (well, they were mostly Christmas ones, but some Thanksgiving ones were thrown in there.). And then, wonder of wonders, miracle of miracles... the servers started bringing out bowls of mashed potatoes and dishes of baked squash, and then the cook wheeled out a cart with this really enormous turkey! It was fantastic! Definitely a memorable holiday. I guess it's those ones that are really unusual that tend to stand out in your memory, but still..."The Feast

Good Friends: Danielle, Jewell, me

Les Fotos

Day 1 in NYC. Forecast: Rain

No explanation. Not because you don't need one, but because I have no idea why.

My next job: UN Ambassador

Hello New York! And a closeup of my face.

Mom & me on the ferry back from Ellis Island

From the top of the Empire State Building. See the clouds? Yeah, that's all we saw too.

In our defense, this is what it looked like when we went in

And some extras, in case you don't know NYC sites.

New York, New York!

Best birthday ever: Mom met me in NYC for a great touristy weekend.

Thursday: Arrival. Mom got there a few hours earlier than I did, so she wandered around Rockefeller Center for a while. Once I got there, Times Square and Juniors in the rain. Walking back to the hotel (which, fabulously, was on 51st St, right next to Gershwin Theater), we ran into Katie Holmes & John Lithgow coming out of the stage door for All My Sons. Awesome.





Friday: U.N. tour - finally. I've been to NYC four times and never when the UN is open. Ellis Island & Statue of Liberty. Mourning at the NYSE. Dylan's Candy Bar & Serendipity. Yes, we were on a sugar kick all weekend. And I definitely brought home a Frozen Hot Chocolate mix if anyone needs some. =) Wicked. Wicked awesome. And then Becco. Stuffed peppers, spaetzle and pannacotta. I was a happy woman.

Saturday. Yay for the new Magnolia's in Rockefeller Center! Brooklyn Bridge (some day I actually need to spend some time in Brooklyn.). Empire State Building. In the fog. Bad idea, but funny all the same. The Strand bookstore, which I LOVE, and some shopping before Mary Poppins.

Sunday. Attempted to go to church at the Manhattan LDS Temple, but the 3rd floor is closed for renovations, so we spent the morning wandering Central Park before Mom headed back to Boise and I missed my bus to DC.

Travelogue #1: Spring Break in DC

First of all, I love spring break. For those of us who went to BYU-related schools, spring break is something we have not been associated with for a long time. I think they missed the boat on this one: there is nothing more welcome (or necessary) in the middle of a long winter semester than a nice break from it all.

If spring break had worked out as I originally planned, I would be flying home from Italy on Monday with a suitcase full of Nutella, an extra few pounds (mmm...gelato!) and a dozen stories of crazy Italian casanovas. Or if my second idea had panned out, a Caribbean cruise, I would be getting home from a week of reading, swimming and eating with a nice golden tan (ok, that last part was a lie. i don't tan.). Option #3 (ultimately the chosen destination) was a week in our nation's capital. Now, that may sound a little funny, seeing as I live in Arlington and work in Washington D.C., but I got to spend a fabulous week with my mom and brother Michael seeing the sights and playing the tour guide. And they even followed me around to places I had never been!

Day 1: The Udvar-Hazy Center & Old Town Alexandria

Mom and Michael got here late Sunday evening, and after a longer-than-anticipated stop at my house to pack and chat with my roommates, we made it to the hotel and crashed. Their day of traveling meant that Monday morning (mercifully) was not an early morning. Unfortunately, I'm still programmed to wake up early and was out of bed by 7 am. In an attempt to make a very historical city more interesting for my 15-year-old brother, I had scouted out some things for us to do that weren't so history-related. Or at least more hands-on history. Our first stop was the Udvar-Hazy Center of the Smithsonian's Air and Space Museum. The museum is housed in a hangar built especially for the Smithsonian, and anything smaller just wouldn't work.

My favorite exhibits:

• the space shuttle Enterprise
• the Enola Gay
• the SR-71 Blackbird

And yes, this may just be a picture of Michael and I pretending to be airplanes.

That evening, I took them down to Old Town Alexandria. For anyone that hasn't been there, it's a quaint section of Alexandria full of antique stores, restaurants, used bookstores and the like, situated on the Potomac River. Our first stop was Banana Republic. It was love at first sight. This was Michael's first experience in BR and it turns out that he's the one in the family who actually has style. I promised him a trip later in the week to the BR Outlet at Potomac Mills. We wandered from shop to shop and from restaurant to restaurant, looking for nothing in particular, but enjoying ourselves immensely, and ended up with a fabulous dinner at the Charthouse (See previous post).

Day 2: Gettysburg & Lancaster County

Last year when Mom and Paul came to visit me for Spring Break, we were completely confined to the city because I was still an intern and hadn't yet bought my car. This year, we were free to explore a little more, so we took off Tuesday morning and drove to Gettysburg. We hired a guide to drive my car around the park and give us the tour. Gettysburg always gets to me. 3 days. 51,000 casualties. Unfathomable. I'm also lucky that someone much more eloquent than myself already eulogized the Gettysburg dead. My favorite passage from Lincoln's Gettysburg Address

refocuses the attention of the nation:

"It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us -- that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion -- that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain -- that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom -- and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth. "

Sadly, there are no pictures to document the second half of the day. From Gettysburg, we drove to Lancaster County, PA, famous for and dotted with small communities of Amish, places with names like Bird-in-Hand and Intercourse. Gotta love it. I think we must have gone into a dozen gift shops and roadside stands selling everything from hand-sewn quilts, pottery and woven rugs to trinkets and mugs making snide remarks about the name "Intercourse".

Day 3: Washington DC

Spy Museum and DC. I've been saying for about a year that I wanted to check out the International Spy Museum, so I used my family's visit as an excuse. There was far more information than any of us could take in, but it was fascinating! The upper floor displayed the art of spying - gadgets straight out of 007 movie. I half expected Mr. Bond himself to sneak out from behind the curtain! The second half of the museum was straight spy history - i was in heaven! (Yes, I am a history teacher)

We checked another item off my "To Do in DC" list that afternoon - paddleboating in the Tidal Basin! After about 30 seconds, Michael tried to plead exhaustion, but we kept at it for most of the hour. Sadly, at this point I had to ditch them and head back to my house. I'm moving to a new place next week and I had to clean/show my current room to a potential renter. Still hoping that everything works out for the best!

Day 4: Washington DC

This was our early day. We left the hotel at 6:20 so we could be in line to get tickets to go up the Washington Monument. After braving commuter traffic into the city, I dropped Mom and Michael off in line, then went home to drop off my car and sneak a power-nap before metro-ing back into the city to meet them. At some point during my napping, it had started raining, and everyone in line was soaked by the time I got there. *Note to self: buy an umbrella! Our Monument tickets were for later in the day, so we headed back to Virginia for some hot chocolate, and then to the Pentagon, where my wonderful friend Melissa showed us around. (thanks Melissa! we loved it!) I must say that I'm extremely impressed by anyone who knows their way around that place.

The afternoon included the view from the top (the Washington Monument tour), and the National Zoo (we had to see the pandas). And of course the promised trip to the Banana Republic outlet. Altogether a fabulous week. Unfortunately, their departure also marked my return to reality. School starts again on Monday...

p.s. Congrats to anyone who made it through all that. I didn't mean for it to get so long-winded.