Becoming

How exactly does one become a happy person?

I'm not saying that I'm unhappy. But I want to be more consistently happy with who I am and the things I'm doing with my life. I want to feel like my efforts are adequate and acceptable to God.

Every once in a while I catch glimpses of this woman that I want to be. She wakes up on time every morning, really studies her scriptures before leaving for work and starts out every day with a positive attitude. She is alert and productive at work. She manages to not only keep her classes under control and teach about the Treaty of Paris, but also nurtures students that desperately need it. She comes home from work, chats with her roommates and heads off to the gym for a challenging, stress-relieving workout. She spends her evenings reading or volunteering or practicing the piano and hanging out with friends. She keeps the gospel of Jesus Christ at the forefront of her mind throughout the day and consciously bases her decisions off true principles of the Gospel. She remembers that everyone is a son or daughter of God and treats everyone she meets as such.

I struggle figuring out how to actually become that person all the time. I realize on reflection that even the people who seem "perfect" have days where they feel like they've fallen short. I just want to feel like this amazing woman more often than I do. So how do you balance striving for perfection with the knowledge that perfection is unattainable? It's our end goal in this life, definitely, but that means that for the next 60 or so years, I've got to deal with failure. And unfortunately, like most humans, I am terrified of failure. I'm trying to change my vantage point. I'm trying to develop the courage to pick myself up when I've fallen, to move beyond my failure and to choose to be happy. I had no idea that achieving success and happiness would take so much courage.

I made a list a few weeks ago of things that make me happy:

• crossing things off my to-do list
• a clean house
• reading a good book for hours on end
• starting / working on a new creative project
• sitting at the family piano on sunday afternoons and singing with my family
• camping
• waking up first on a camping trip and having the dawn all to myself
• long walks, alone or with a close friend
• singing along with the radio at the top of my lungs
• phone calls from old friends
• experimenting with new recipes
• walks in the rain

In creating this list, however, I've discovered that sometimes I have a hard time actually doing the things that make me the happiest. This makes no sense. Why would I not jump at the chance to become happier? Again, I think it goes back to courage. It's easier, more comfortable to take a lackadaisical approach to life, to just let things happen instead of proactively seeking out opportunities for self-improvement. Happiness takes effort. Achievement takes effort. Perfection takes a whole lot of effort. And I have to convince myself that it's worth it.

So here's the best part:
Jesus Christ already prepared a way for me (us). He knows exactly the challenges that I face. When I choose to rely on him, I can receive the strength that I need to get me through life's challenges, even if the challenge is simply being happy.

Elder Richard G. Scott wrote in a talk entitled "The Atonement Can Secure Your Peace and Happiness" the following:

"True, enduring happiness, with the accompanying strength, courage, and capacity to overcome the greatest difficulties, will come as you center your life in Jesus Christ. Obedience to His teachings provides a secure ascent in the journey of life. That takes effort. While there is no guarantee of overnight results, there is the assurance that, in the Lord’s time, solutions will come, peace will prevail, and happiness will be yours."

I'm striving to make this my new mantra. I could use your support as well.

words of wisdom

Student 1: "ms. chamberlain, is Jewish a religion or a race?"
Student 2: "it's a religion right? because i'm Jewish, but that doesn't mean i'm from Jew-land"

♫ when i required students to send me a message from our online grade system so i knew they had logged in to their grades:

"hi ms. chamberlain this is amber i am just emailing you because you told me to and i really don't
have anything else to talk about so.. yeah im going to go now."

"i think white people with dreads look like they need to pour water on it. like it looks like sawdust"

prior to the first parent-teacher conference: "MRS. chamberlain, i'm excited you get to meet my parents tonight. you'll recognize them because my dad is really tall and my mom looks just like me."
my (internal) response: "i'll also recognize them because they're white."

"ms. chamberlain, are Africans considered African-American?"

and the follow-up question: "if a white American guy marries an African woman, are their kids African-American?"

"ms. chamberlain, your eyelashes are blond on top!!!" (after i've spent 3 minutes lecturing her on some behavioral infraction.)


despite all the drama, these little gems always just make my day

Lessons in God's love

I want to introduce you to a student in my notoriously bad 3^rd period class; we’ll call him John. John is a sophomore and because I teach two different courses, this is the second year he’s been in my class. John is a nice enough kid but has zero self control. He talks constantly to whoever he is sitting near; does absolutely no homework; gets up in the middle of class and walks around. A few weeks ago I ended up locking him out of the room because I was just done with the attitude. At least once a week I pull him aside and have a conversation about school rules, classroom rules and the choices he is making. I remind him that I have been in his shoes. I survived my sophomore year of high school and college. And that I really do know how much effort and work it will take to get him through not only my class but to be successful in life. I remind him that the rules I put in place are not me “picking on him” but are in fact there to teach valuable principles and skills that will help him succeed. Every time we have this conversation, his attitude changes. He understands why I constantly change his assigned seat. He actually does his classwork and focuses on his tasks. Total transformation. Unfortunately, this transformation lasts about 30 minutes and the misbehavior starts up again. A year and a half of these weekly cycles has been exhausting.

A few months ago as I was preparing for a sacrament meeting talk (from which this post derives), I had an epiphany. If I, in my extremely mortal and imperfect state, set classroom rules and restrictions in order for my students to learn and improve, how much more perfect are God’s laws? Just as I know the skills and discipline that are necessary for my students to pass, graduate and ultimately succeed in life, the Lord knows the bigger picture, the eternal picture. And every time I resist, he lovingly reminds me that he has eternal perspective and that he is directing me in the way I need to go. Just like my student, the very commandments that I am resisting are the things that will ultimately perfect me.

Elder Oaks says “God’s love is so perfect that he lovingly requires us to obey His commandments because He knows that only through obedience to His laws can we become perfect, as He is. For this reason, God’s anger and His wrath are not a contradiction of His love but an evidence of His love.”

The scriptures offer numerous examples. The woman taken in adultery is accepted and loved by Christ, but ultimately told to “Go, and sin no more.” (John 8:11) He loved her unconditionally, despite her grave sin, but still required obedience. Christ also taught that “Not every one that saith unto me, Lord, Lord, shall enter into the kingdom of heaven; but he that doeth the will of my Father which is in heaven” (Matthew 7:21)

God’s love is unconditional. He showers blessings upon us just because he loves us. However, it is only through our obedience to His laws that we can gain the greatest blessings of all, the blessings of exaltation and eternal life. His laws, as Elder Oaks said, are evidence of His love.

Please check out Elder Oaks' talk from last October (2009) General Conference, "Love and Law"

The Verdict is IN...

For all of you out there who have just been DYING to know where I'm heading to grad school this fall, the wait is over. Drumroll please...


I will officially be a Colonial as of August 30, 2010. And I'm pretty darn excited.


p.s. yes, I do realize that you probably saw the logo before you read ANY of the above. Oh well

Oh What Do You Do In the Blizzard-time?

I discovered something interesting about myself this past week. I actually really enjoy being at home. Don't get me wrong, it was a huge relief to actually leave the house on Thursday after (literally) staying inside all day on Wednesday. But while all my friends seemed to be going a little crazy, I was really enjoying myself. Cooking... painting...crocheting (or at least prepping to crochet and looking for my crochet hook...)... plenty of movies & reading... This may have something to do with not loving my job these days, but being able to spend days on end NOT doing work was really refreshing. Here are a few of the ways that I spent my Snow Week:

Jillian Michaels' 30 Day Shred DVD. Ouch.

Crocheted Round Rug. Check out the link for a kind of unique project to crochet. You start by cutting or ripping about 9 yards of fabric. The instructions here tell you to use t-shirts, but I just bought a couple super cheap twin flat sheets from IKEA that work great.

and...

A Couple Recipes I Tried.

Roasted Red Pepper & Feta Dip.
This is what I made for our (all-girl) Super Bowl party. That seems like forever ago at this point, but that's just because The Game was at the beginning of the Snow Week. The past several days are pretty much a blur. With this recipe, I used bottled roasted red peppers instead of roasting my own, and they worked fabulously and I left out the olive oil completely. And to be honest I'm not sure how much of any of the ingredients I put in (I'm not very good at using measuring cups when I cook). But this is a good jumping off point at least.

Butternut Squash Ravioli with Sage Cream Sauce
I used a butternut squash ravioli that I found in Costco's refrigerated section, but you could definitely make your own pasta as well if you're feeling really adventurous. I added caramelized onions as well, which was delish.

What's In a Name?

The clever folks over at the Washington Post Capital Weather Gang have been taking polls to name the storms of this past week. The Friday - Saturday storm was affectionately (?) dubbed Snowmageddon (although I prefer Snowpocalypse). And Snowmageddon it was. Grocery stores were jam-packed Thursday and Friday in preparation for the predicted dumping. People were stocking up on flour, sugar, eggs, any milk-based product and produce. You couldn't find a banana to save your life. The storm hit as promised, dumping something like 24" of snow at our house and more in other parts of the area. And after a 3-hour DCPS-is-still-requiring-us-to-go-to-school-on-Monday scare, the Mayor announced that the school system would be closed and I was able to enjoy my Super Bowl party in peace.

After a truly fabulous Snow Day (the first in years), we got another one on Tuesday. And then Wednesday, for storm #2. I've actually kept prety sane until now, but I'm sure the stircrazycabinfever will set in soon. Just found out we're out again tomorrow (not surprising considering the roads outside), which means with the Presidents Day holiday, I won't go back to work again til Tuesday. Awesome.

My car. I thought the December storm was bad, but we (literally) reached new heights with this one.

Not my car, thank goodness. Luckily the tree didn't seem to do much damage.

Favorite picture of the week.

The latest storm's name? Snowverkill.

Pictures to come as soon as I'm brave enough to go outside.

The Waiting Game

A couple weeks ago I was sitting in my classroom at lunch and decided to blog about the most exciting change in my life right now ... applying to grad school. I had composed a paragraph or two about "the waiting game" before some kids came in to make up some work, so I put off the blog until I got home.

Upon arrival at home, I promptly forgot about the blog because there was a big white envelope waiting for me in the mailbox. Not a mission call, but my first acceptance letter! I'm still waiting on a couple schools, but I'm feeling a lot better about things with a letter in hand. :)

So here's the plan. I'm not sure yet where I'll end up going, but I will be starting a Masters of Public Administration program sometime in July or August. That means quitting my current job (shhh, don't tell my boss yet) so I can either move to a new city or focus on school / internships.


If you care to vote, here are the schools. I'd love to hear your comments.